Sunday, June 24, 2007

We are all individuals...We are all unique in some manner... We are all different in our own special way...And we should cherish that...We should cherish the fact that what makes us unique is the very thing that makes us who we are...

We should understand that everything about us is what makes us an individual. We can try to change and we can try to transform...That's just the process of maturing and becoming your own individual...We should feel special for being something that everyone isn’t. We should acknowledge that the things we don't think of as important or we think are stupid in a person is the exact thing that makes the person we hate an individual...

I despise it when people say I'm weird. I hate the fact when they mock me or they don't want to understand me. It’s their right if they don't want to make my acquaintance...But they have no right to say that I am not me. They talk about me like they know me when they don’t. They have no right to question me...To say I'm weird or strange or stuff... They should acknowledge that it what defines my individuality...

I don't want to judge people. I respect your life. I don’t want to intervene or dictate you on how you should act. One should not be controlled by others and let them control the definition of that individual

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

I need motivation. I need to finish my assignments. This is what happens when the office doesn’t need you anymore. And I feel jaded. I don't know, it just happens each weekend. Just wish to spend the weekend with my beloved. How I yearn to have a morning breakfast with her.

I can imagine the fried rice with egg plus a cup of tea. Then spend the day lying down in bed, chitchatting with her. That moment make me happy because my beloved is with me and ready to talk to me and comfort me while we are having lunch and dinner.

I just wanted to write something positive and to remind myself that no matter the situation you are in, you can learn both from your achievements and your tribulations. It's good to look at the positive side of things and also the negative side of things. Why? Because people who focus on the positives are over optimistic and they never try to improve their negativity. People who focus on the negatives are over pessimistic and they never realize the achievements they've done.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Pekat yang Sepi Di tengah Malam

Ia mengganti pencerahan itu dengan pekat yang sepi di tengah malam. Menelantarkan kerinduan yang sangat, tanpa pesan... Membenamkan matahari di malam hariku tanpa kesan... Dan membiarkan pergi dengan tanya yang bertubi

Hanya ada pekat yang sepi ditengah malam..Sepanjang jalan memikirkan dia... Tak terasa asa lepas perlahan.. Biarkan lepas... Karena ini begitu membelenggu..

Pencerahan itu tenggelam dipekat yang sepi di tengah malam... Tapi kenapa masih hadir di mimpi ku semalam? Ketika akhirnya ku tertidur karena lelah menggerutui kamu..??

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

You just don't see me at all, do you? While I am actually standing here right before your eyes. You don't want to see me, or perhaps you just can't. You don't even ask me, you don't even give me the chance to speak up. I feel badly treated; you have badly treated me and my rights to defend myself. You just closed your eyes and you choose to just follow him, and you left me all behind, you abandoned me, you agreed to shut me out altogether, and I was there standing alone with my stretched eyes and opened mouth, screaming curses and wrath out of my confused mind.

You shut me out, you left me out alone and you replaced me with another figure all in a glance. It was as if I was hallucinating, like everything was an illusion ever since the beginning and I actually thought you all were my next true family, and I realized it was a dream, a true nightmare, and now I have finally woken up and I am motionless in this numb sobriety.

I feel badly treated and I feel hurt too much to even breathe and have all your dark shadows flash around in my sickening mind, and I can not believe how I have always thought of you as one of the best things that ever happened in my jaded life. You were like a small bottle of perfume called "LOVE" that I always wholeheartedly sprayed on my skin. Being with you always felt like breathing a small bag of fresh air to me, something that I can hardly get in my own world, behind these golden bars. I could taste the scent of vague love when I was with you, even if it was vague, I could still feel the sensation, the sensation which brought me peace. I thought I had found my sanctuary until this came and hit me and the next thing I had to face was the fact that everything had been shut down on purpose.

I never could understand everything beneath that twisted sorrowful soul's mind. Her own wrath upon me, I never could understand, I wish she would explain to me, yet it no longer matters now, does it? She always knows how to stab me right through my weakling heart. While all I know, the real problem is only between me and her, but she had to make this into a real drama.

Nothing really matters anymore now for you have showed me nothing else but nothingness. I am now drowning in my own devastated state of mind, I am no longer yours and I will never be one of you all ever again, you have finally showed your true figures, and how weird it is to know, that I can finally see all your vivid figures clearer than ever before, when you decided to give up and leave me..

So, tell me, how would you feel, if you were me? Tell me. How would you FUCKING feel?

I have told you mine.

Yet, a bittersweet ending must always be sealed with a token of gratitude, no matter how painful it might be.

Thank you. Thank you for everything that you are not.

P. S
: Felicidad... Good luck with the new one...

Tuesday, June 12, 2007


Ini lebih melelahkan dari patah hati. Lebih mengerikan dari apapun yang dibayangkan. Dan lebih menyedihkan dari ribuan galon air mata. Pekerjaan rumah yang dahsyat. Seperti malam yang tak berujung pagi. Gelisah menanti hidup dalam kehidupan yang mati. Mungkinkah akan bernafas lagi setelah balutan sekap memaksaku untuk mati suri?

Sulit sekali membuka logika ketika gila sudah merayap.

Keluarkan aku dari sini!!!

Ternyata helaian nafas tak mengantarku kemana-mana. Aku tetap disini terpaku pada gelap yang luar biasa pekat, pengap. Dekap hitam terlalu dekat.

Di tengah jalan pulang kulihat malaikat mencari sayapnya yang patah. Ia seharusnya membawaku serta. Membawaku pulang.

I should learn from a dog

I should just MUTE myself forever, I guess. I should learn from a dog, so called man's best friend. I should learn how to be loyal to my master from a dog. A dog won't care about other people but his master. Yes, I should learn from a damn fucking dog. I should be a dog. Ha. Ha.

Monday, June 4, 2007

I don’t get it.

How can a smart person like you put on a price tag to yourself and tell me that you’re cheap? Is it because you’re promiscuous or something? Don’t give me the reply. Reply it to yourself.

It’s hurt you know. Every time you tell me that. And the worst part is I don’t know how to help you. I’m speechless. YOU, the one who told me to be confident; but you’re not confident at all. How can anyone pay respect on you; if you can pay respect to yourself?

Look, you’re worth tons of love. Because you are the brightest star that stay constantly while other stars move around. I don’t know if I already give much love as much as you give to me.

You’re bored to hear this. But for whatever you do, wherever you wanna go; I’m right behind you.